Contemplating Careers

Right now I am absurdly happy, and I have no idea why (perhaps the rapidly ingested coffee at work). So much is going through my brain that I cannot select a prominent thought. I just went back to bed for about an hour because my music lesson today got rescheduled, but I couldn't sleep, so I just spent some time cuddling with my cute roommate (who happens to be my boyfriend of close to five years). 

(Summer 2010 - Atlantic City for my 21st birthday)

While nestling my face in the crook of his neck and trying to obtain oxygen from the crevice of his collarbone that my nose was occupying, I thought about how I am so ready to be done with grad school (or at least this semester). Throughout my time pursuing music, I have always had a lot of interests, one being medicine. I have ALWAYS been interested in medicine, but I decided to try my hand at the clarinet first (I thought this would be the easier option). Turns out, music school is really hard, and having any sort of low self-esteem or perfectionism is an enormous handicap when being faced with external and internal criticism every single day. You can't be an idiot and do well in music, either. The academic portion of it is still daunting (my initial misconception was that I wouldn't have to study at all - just play and have fun).

I like to play and perform music, but the more I work towards a career in this field, the less I enjoy it. Also, the longer I stay in music school, the less self-worth and sense of accomplishment I have (minus being able to say "I am a graduate student" or perhaps eventually "I have a graduate degree"). I would like to help people, and while I can do that through teaching, it doesn't feel as significant to me as saving people's lives might. 

Combine this with my fascination for science, and I think that after I finish this degree program (if I can make myself channel unhappy focus for that long) I will not be applying to doctoral school. I am going to work, take organic chemistry and some refresher anatomy, etc. classes at a local community college, and prepare for the MCATs. 

Something about this just feels right.

My first half-marathon

Today I achieved a goal on my bucket list: I ran a half-marathon.

For the majority of the fall semester I have trained on a fairly regular basis so I could be fit to run this race. I ran four or five times a week with one long run a week to build up to this distance. Rumors circulate that your longest run for the race only needs to be 9 miles. This is a lie.

Without my ipod, I wouldn't have made it through miles 11 and 12. But thanks to some angry rap music, I finished! And as a bonus, I was first in my age group (Female 20-24)! Technically, I was second, but the girl who won my age group won an award in the overall category for being ridiculously fast. If I could have kept up my first half pace (I ran the first 6.5 miles in 45 minutes...not intentionally and definitely not the wisest maneuver) I would have given her a run for her money. However, I am still a penguin aspiring to be a jackrabbit.

I've never been a "good runner". I have always enjoyed it, but I have never been particularly fast. I will never be a Deena Kastor or Paula Radcliffe. However, completing this race has given me a sense of empowerment. I am learning, day by day, that I CAN achieve high levels of fitness. This makes me happy. I CAN one day be a lean, mean, strong, healthy, fit girl, which means that anyone can. Nobody is doomed to a life of 'unhealth' or obesity or unsuccessful dieting. Even better, nobody is doomed to a life of disordered eating in order to "look good". These goals are possible to achieve while being healthy and happy, SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Holy mackerel.

Hi Friends!

To inaugurate this blog, I did some nail art. Left hand only, of course. For those who partake in nail painting, you can probably sympathize with the unfortunate fact that the nails on my right hand never look as nice. The ability to be ambidextrous continues to elude me. Somehow, I'll live.

Seeing as I am trying to nourish this blog past the infantile stages of wannabe-blog development, any comments, suggestions, and followers/subscribers are welcomed. Thanks for joining!